How to Find Your Patron Goddess or God

This is a common question for beginners: How do I find my patron goddess or god?  Those who are beginning their spiritual journey oft look to others in their religious community asking this question because they desire a mentor or deity to connect with.

My advice to you, if you find yourself asking this question, follows:

No one can answer this question for you directly, only give you a compass and tell you what landmarks they saw along the way.  It’s a bit like finding the right job, and right employer – that “right fit” isn’t “right” for everyone but you can approach it in about the same way. It may come to you from a combination of research (to open your mind to different pantheons), ritual (because the gods respond to ritual and it also cultivates your awareness of the divine), and self-reflection coupled with introspection (you must know yourself before you can know others, including the gods). You could design your own ritual, appealing to “Whoever will accept me as a devotee”, give an offering, and see who chooses you. It may not happen the first time, but your chances are better with persistence and the right approach.

Behave like you are applying for a job interview: clean and dress well, make an appropriate offering, approach respectfully, and be open-minded. Know what you can offer in return and include that in your ritual. Some deities accept food or libation, others accept music or art or poetry, some even accept blog posts praising them.  If you have decided to approach a particular god, research what He or She is known to favor and accept (like you would when researching an employer).

Finding your patron or matron god is kind of like an interview with a potential employer.

Finding your patron or matron god is kind of like finding the right employer.

If you are a poet or musician, then Apollon may be an appropriate patron and you can offer song to Him. If you are a medical technician or some sort, then Asklepios may be appropriate and you can offer your services in His name. If you are talented with crafts, then you can offer artwork, weavings, or pottery to Athene (and you don’t have to appeal to Her aspects of crafty warfare).

Like I said, it’s a lot like a job interview to find not only who matches you, but who you match with. Essentially, asking for a patron/matron is also asking to be His/Her priestess. So cultivate the qualities that would honor Them and offer your services or what you can make or earn to Them in return like you would cultivate your skills and experience to put on your resume.  Make yourself a valuable devotee, and your chances of being chosen will improve.

Addendum: It’s also important to consider what kind of person you want to be and who you want to be associated with.  Again, like applying for work in which the reputation of the company and your supervisor are important for your career, your patron or matron deity will be important for the cultivation of your spiritual life.  If you are serious about becoming a devotee, you will be cultivating aspects that the god or goddess is known for and asking for aid in realms they have control over.  So be sure to research before committing yourself to a particular deity.

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19 comments on “How to Find Your Patron Goddess or God

  1. Labrys says:

    Even before I abandoned my long, weary attempt at the dominant paradigm as a Christian, I had a dedication to Athena. She was, after all the patroness of the Women’s Army Corps, which I joined with my enlistment to the military back in the 70′s. That was a superficial attachment, however.

    With age, I find more subtle bindings between this severe Lady and myself—myth denotes her as “motherless”; I am similarly unmothered, tho’ obviously not because my father literally devoured my mother! She was often called the “friend of man” and more of my companions have been male. I am told I am not feminine, that I am pugnacious and over emphatic, but I am also told I am wise and honest.

    But I do not believe I picked Athena; I believe she selected me and has guided-kicked my weary self into the steps she believed best for me. (BTW, my blog Walk of the Fallen is now ended, the Labyrinth work continues w/o an online face.)

    • Thank you for your thoughts, Labrys. It sounds like She did choose you and cultivated more than one aspect in you over time that She is associated with. You have more than one strong connection with Her and that makes her patronage (or matronage if you prefer) more flexible.

  2. Brynhild Tudor says:

    Mine are Morgan Le Fay, Gwydion and Brigid. Still trying to figure out the connection as to why we chose each other, especially since Morgan is *not* the Morrigun (trust me on this one, contrary to what everyone says), and particularly since I have a Nordic craft name yet never was interested in Norse deities. Go figure. I used to be a classical musician and still love choral singing, though I’m no longer involved in music nearly as much as I once was, and honestly have lost interest in that life, as it doesn’t hold much enjoyment for me anymore. I’m involved with music in a much more casual sense, and my life is now moving on to other things, like physical fitness. None of my deities seem to be linked with fitness, but we’re all still close to each other. I’m female but definitely *not* feminine or masculine, and my deities are not exactly tomboys or girly either. They’re just, well, there. Like me, they’ve never married, or at least, they do as they please and prefer not to attach themselves to anyone, the way you see some pantheons have combinations that fit together. So I’m not quite sure exactly what the connection is between us. Right now I’ve no desire for a steady work occupation, preferring to just have fun and do what interests me on a casual level. So now I’m enjoying myself, although I know I must find something to be of usefulness in society. My deities are healers but healing doesn’t interest me, not in a medical/psychology/psychiatry way. The connection search continues. We’ll see what happens!

  3. Ashley Harris says:

    I am new to this whole Patron Searching thing. I don’t really know where to start. All I know is that I feel the most connected to Greek Mythology. It is something I’ve always been interested in ever since I was younger. I guess you can say that Disney’s movie Hercules sparked up the interest. But every since I first started learning about it in school my obsession has just grown. I want to learn everything there is about the Greek beliefs though at time it feel like too much and just very frustratingly confusing. I wish to find out who my patron/ matron is though. I have a feeling that if I can find that out my life would seem more complete and happy. If someone could give me some advice as to where to start looking or how to find connections that would be great. If you need to ask questions, just ask and I will answer to the best of my ability. This is something that I just got into but am very passionate about…

    Thank you.

    • alexandrabond says:

      Hi Ashley,

      My best advice to you is to start with research. Go to the roots of our mythology by reading Homer and Hesiod and then the Delphic Maxims. Then start performing rituals to honor the gods in general. You can use the Homeric Hymns or the Orphic Hymns to honor the gods and see Who you feel the most connection with. If you aren’t sure how to perform the rituals, go to hellenion.org and browse the articles there. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have specific questions along the way.

  4. Casey says:

    I just need to know the signs. I have been obsessive with the goddess Selene lately. And i don’t know if its by coincidence or not, but the last few books i’ve read have had similar traits to what i believe is the goddess. Compassion, love, and strength. I have always been one for the night. I really am considering Wicca, I don’t know why exactly— perhaps i wish to cleanse myself of the past? Or i just am finally willing to try this, I have never been influenced by religion so this is new to me, Selene may very well be my Goddess… Yet i do not have dreams of her, which i feel would be most logic for a goddess of the moon and tide, actually. I feel drawn to her and her history— well it feels compatible with mine. Music also seems to revolve around her in my mind now too. Do you think my obsession could be the Goddess’s doing?

    • Khaire Casey,

      It could very well be. You’re noticing a pattern and feeling strongly drawn towards Her, so it would be appropriate to make offerings and “listen” to what She has to say.

      Aside: Hellenics tend to think of the gods separately, either as distinct beings (hard polytheists) or as more abstract forces (soft polytheists); whereas Wiccans see the gods as multiple faces or facets of the same two gods (or sometimes even one being). Whichever way you see it is what is right (for you). I just want you to be aware of the terms when deciding which groups to engage in and what to expect from them.

      I’d recommend practicing a daily ritual and make offerings to Her, and see if you feel like She is a distinct personality or a face of a larger being; that will help you see both whether She is your matron goddess and if you would feel more comfortable honoring Her from a Hellenic approach or a Wiccan approach.

  5. lost says:

    i have recently started practicing and i am christian what do i do

    • Khaire Lost,

      The first step is to read, read, read, and read some more! Check out these sources to start with:
      - The links on the Must Read! and Glossary pages here at Helleneste kai Grammateus
      - Our “holy books”: Homer’s The Iliad and the Odyssey, The Homeric Hymns, Hesiod’s Theogony and Works and Days, the Delphic Hymns, the Orphic Maxims.
      - Join Hellenion at: http://www.hellenion.org/index.html

      That will be more than enough to get you started. By joining Hellenion and other groups you’ll get good recommendations of other sources to read and have forums in which you can get your specific questions answered.

      The next step (or parallel step) is to start putting what you’ve read and start giving regular offerings to the gods, at the very least hold to the monthly rituals.

      May Hekate light your way!

  6. Newbie91 says:

    I just started getting into paganism, and I thought my deity was Athena. But lately yhe name Saraswati have been repeated in my head. I just thought it was a coincedence, because I read her name, even a few weeks after reading her name it still pops up in my head. I also feel connected to Hestia and Chaos. Help!

    • It sounds like a blessing to have the attention of so many gods! If you can afford to, I’d suggest nurturing all of those relationships! The only limit is on your own resources: time, attention, and material sacrifices.

      Aside: The first and last of every sacrifice belongs to Hestia. She sits at the hearth, the centerpiece of the home, Her fires deliver burnt sacrifices to the gods above, and She is arguably the single most common deity to pay tribute to in Hellenism. It’s perfectly encouraged to connect with Her alongside other gods.

  7. Isaac says:

    I found that my patron was Cernunnos about a month ago… the wild, the forest, the Green Man in the spring and the Hunter in the fall. I then realized that I have also been working with Hermes and Saraswati for a much longer time. I am a mediator, communicator and teacher in and between multiple communities and I am also a poet, musician and seeker of knowledge.

  8. Charity says:

    I am so confused. :( I’ve always been interested in Greek Mythology, and ancient Egypt…. I don’t know where to really start with Egypt, but I know about Isis… and I’ve always felt connected to Athena… I don’t know what to do

    • Khaire Charity,
      I’m not sure if you are feeling stuck due to a lack of knowledge about one or both pantheons, or because you believe you have to pick one or the other. For the former, I suggest you do your research into the mythology of both pantheons. Then start practicing rituals appropriate to them.

      For the latter issue, keep in mind that before monotheism it was perfectly acceptable to acknowledge, address, and even sacrifice to gods of more than one pantheon. Some pantheons even recognize others’ gods formally by giving them a new name (the Romans did exactly this with the Greek gods, then added some more from other pantheons). So if you choose to, you can become both a Hellenic and a Egyptian devotee. Ours are not jealous gods. They just want you to use the correct orthopraxy with them.

  9. sydnisan says:

    I don’t know who my patron Goddess is. I have a feeling that it might be Morgan Le Fay, but I’m not sure. I’ve always felt drawn to her and many aspects in my life are connected with her, but I kind of feel like I’m imagining my connection with her sometimes.

  10. deanna says:

    Im a catholic and i have like being drawn too this religion, im not sure what it is but i love the gods but i will feel terrible for leaving my religion, im barely a teenager but like i said its like im being drawn too this, and i have been searching this stuff all day and it just feels right somehow im cofused, would it be bad for me too leave my religion behind and start again??

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