How to Find Your Patron Goddess or God

This is a common question for beginners: How do I find my patron goddess or god?  Those who are beginning their spiritual journey oft look to others in their religious community asking this question because they desire a mentor or deity to connect with.

My advice to you, if you find yourself asking this question, follows:

No one can answer this question for you directly, only give you a compass and tell you what landmarks they saw along the way.  It’s a bit like finding the right job, and right employer – that “right fit” isn’t “right” for everyone but you can approach it in about the same way. It may come to you from a combination of research (to open your mind to different pantheons), ritual (because the gods respond to ritual and it also cultivates your awareness of the divine), and self-reflection coupled with introspection (you must know yourself before you can know others, including the gods). You could design your own ritual, appealing to “Whoever will accept me as a devotee”, give an offering, and see who chooses you. It may not happen the first time, but your chances are better with persistence and the right approach.

Behave like you are applying for a job interview: clean and dress well, make an appropriate offering, approach respectfully, and be open-minded. Know what you can offer in return and include that in your ritual. Some deities accept food or libation, others accept music or art or poetry, some even accept blog posts praising them.  If you have decided to approach a particular god, research what He or She is known to favor and accept (like you would when researching an employer).

Finding your patron or matron god is kind of like an interview with a potential employer.

Finding your patron or matron god is kind of like finding the right employer.

If you are a poet or musician, then Apollon may be an appropriate patron and you can offer song to Him. If you are a medical technician or some sort, then Asklepios may be appropriate and you can offer your services in His name. If you are talented with crafts, then you can offer artwork, weavings, or pottery to Athene (and you don’t have to appeal to Her aspects of crafty warfare).

Like I said, it’s a lot like a job interview to find not only who matches you, but who you match with. Essentially, asking for a patron/matron is also asking to be His/Her priestess. So cultivate the qualities that would honor Them and offer your services or what you can make or earn to Them in return like you would cultivate your skills and experience to put on your resume.  Make yourself a valuable devotee, and your chances of being chosen will improve.

Addendum: It’s also important to consider what kind of person you want to be and who you want to be associated with.  Again, like applying for work in which the reputation of the company and your supervisor are important for your career, your patron or matron deity will be important for the cultivation of your spiritual life.  If you are serious about becoming a devotee, you will be cultivating aspects that the god or goddess is known for and asking for aid in realms they have control over.  So be sure to research before committing yourself to a particular deity.

27 comments on “How to Find Your Patron Goddess or God

  1. Labrys says:

    Even before I abandoned my long, weary attempt at the dominant paradigm as a Christian, I had a dedication to Athena. She was, after all the patroness of the Women’s Army Corps, which I joined with my enlistment to the military back in the 70’s. That was a superficial attachment, however.

    With age, I find more subtle bindings between this severe Lady and myself—myth denotes her as “motherless”; I am similarly unmothered, tho’ obviously not because my father literally devoured my mother! She was often called the “friend of man” and more of my companions have been male. I am told I am not feminine, that I am pugnacious and over emphatic, but I am also told I am wise and honest.

    But I do not believe I picked Athena; I believe she selected me and has guided-kicked my weary self into the steps she believed best for me. (BTW, my blog Walk of the Fallen is now ended, the Labyrinth work continues w/o an online face.)

    • Thank you for your thoughts, Labrys. It sounds like She did choose you and cultivated more than one aspect in you over time that She is associated with. You have more than one strong connection with Her and that makes her patronage (or matronage if you prefer) more flexible.

  2. Brynhild Tudor says:

    Mine are Morgan Le Fay, Gwydion and Brigid. Still trying to figure out the connection as to why we chose each other, especially since Morgan is *not* the Morrigun (trust me on this one, contrary to what everyone says), and particularly since I have a Nordic craft name yet never was interested in Norse deities. Go figure. I used to be a classical musician and still love choral singing, though I’m no longer involved in music nearly as much as I once was, and honestly have lost interest in that life, as it doesn’t hold much enjoyment for me anymore. I’m involved with music in a much more casual sense, and my life is now moving on to other things, like physical fitness. None of my deities seem to be linked with fitness, but we’re all still close to each other. I’m female but definitely *not* feminine or masculine, and my deities are not exactly tomboys or girly either. They’re just, well, there. Like me, they’ve never married, or at least, they do as they please and prefer not to attach themselves to anyone, the way you see some pantheons have combinations that fit together. So I’m not quite sure exactly what the connection is between us. Right now I’ve no desire for a steady work occupation, preferring to just have fun and do what interests me on a casual level. So now I’m enjoying myself, although I know I must find something to be of usefulness in society. My deities are healers but healing doesn’t interest me, not in a medical/psychology/psychiatry way. The connection search continues. We’ll see what happens!

  3. Ashley Harris says:

    I am new to this whole Patron Searching thing. I don’t really know where to start. All I know is that I feel the most connected to Greek Mythology. It is something I’ve always been interested in ever since I was younger. I guess you can say that Disney’s movie Hercules sparked up the interest. But every since I first started learning about it in school my obsession has just grown. I want to learn everything there is about the Greek beliefs though at time it feel like too much and just very frustratingly confusing. I wish to find out who my patron/ matron is though. I have a feeling that if I can find that out my life would seem more complete and happy. If someone could give me some advice as to where to start looking or how to find connections that would be great. If you need to ask questions, just ask and I will answer to the best of my ability. This is something that I just got into but am very passionate about…

    Thank you.

    • Hellenestekaigrammateus says:

      Hi Ashley,

      My best advice to you is to start with research. Go to the roots of our mythology by reading Homer and Hesiod and then the Delphic Maxims. Then start performing rituals to honor the gods in general. You can use the Homeric Hymns or the Orphic Hymns to honor the gods and see Who you feel the most connection with. If you aren’t sure how to perform the rituals, go to and browse the articles there. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have specific questions along the way.

  4. Casey says:

    I just need to know the signs. I have been obsessive with the goddess Selene lately. And i don’t know if its by coincidence or not, but the last few books i’ve read have had similar traits to what i believe is the goddess. Compassion, love, and strength. I have always been one for the night. I really am considering Wicca, I don’t know why exactly— perhaps i wish to cleanse myself of the past? Or i just am finally willing to try this, I have never been influenced by religion so this is new to me, Selene may very well be my Goddess… Yet i do not have dreams of her, which i feel would be most logic for a goddess of the moon and tide, actually. I feel drawn to her and her history— well it feels compatible with mine. Music also seems to revolve around her in my mind now too. Do you think my obsession could be the Goddess’s doing?

    • Khaire Casey,

      It could very well be. You’re noticing a pattern and feeling strongly drawn towards Her, so it would be appropriate to make offerings and “listen” to what She has to say.

      Aside: Hellenics tend to think of the gods separately, either as distinct beings (hard polytheists) or as more abstract forces (soft polytheists); whereas Wiccans see the gods as multiple faces or facets of the same two gods (or sometimes even one being). Whichever way you see it is what is right (for you). I just want you to be aware of the terms when deciding which groups to engage in and what to expect from them.

      I’d recommend practicing a daily ritual and make offerings to Her, and see if you feel like She is a distinct personality or a face of a larger being; that will help you see both whether She is your matron goddess and if you would feel more comfortable honoring Her from a Hellenic approach or a Wiccan approach.

  5. lost says:

    i have recently started practicing and i am christian what do i do

    • Khaire Lost,

      The first step is to read, read, read, and read some more! Check out these sources to start with:
      – The links on the Must Read! and Glossary pages here at Helleneste kai Grammateus
      – Our “holy books”: Homer’s The Iliad and the Odyssey, The Homeric Hymns, Hesiod’s Theogony and Works and Days, the Delphic Hymns, the Orphic Maxims.
      – Join Hellenion at:

      That will be more than enough to get you started. By joining Hellenion and other groups you’ll get good recommendations of other sources to read and have forums in which you can get your specific questions answered.

      The next step (or parallel step) is to start putting what you’ve read and start giving regular offerings to the gods, at the very least hold to the monthly rituals.

      May Hekate light your way!

  6. Newbie91 says:

    I just started getting into paganism, and I thought my deity was Athena. But lately yhe name Saraswati have been repeated in my head. I just thought it was a coincedence, because I read her name, even a few weeks after reading her name it still pops up in my head. I also feel connected to Hestia and Chaos. Help!

    • It sounds like a blessing to have the attention of so many gods! If you can afford to, I’d suggest nurturing all of those relationships! The only limit is on your own resources: time, attention, and material sacrifices.

      Aside: The first and last of every sacrifice belongs to Hestia. She sits at the hearth, the centerpiece of the home, Her fires deliver burnt sacrifices to the gods above, and She is arguably the single most common deity to pay tribute to in Hellenism. It’s perfectly encouraged to connect with Her alongside other gods.

  7. Isaac says:

    I found that my patron was Cernunnos about a month ago… the wild, the forest, the Green Man in the spring and the Hunter in the fall. I then realized that I have also been working with Hermes and Saraswati for a much longer time. I am a mediator, communicator and teacher in and between multiple communities and I am also a poet, musician and seeker of knowledge.

  8. Charity says:

    I am so confused.😦 I’ve always been interested in Greek Mythology, and ancient Egypt…. I don’t know where to really start with Egypt, but I know about Isis… and I’ve always felt connected to Athena… I don’t know what to do

    • Khaire Charity,
      I’m not sure if you are feeling stuck due to a lack of knowledge about one or both pantheons, or because you believe you have to pick one or the other. For the former, I suggest you do your research into the mythology of both pantheons. Then start practicing rituals appropriate to them.

      For the latter issue, keep in mind that before monotheism it was perfectly acceptable to acknowledge, address, and even sacrifice to gods of more than one pantheon. Some pantheons even recognize others’ gods formally by giving them a new name (the Romans did exactly this with the Greek gods, then added some more from other pantheons). So if you choose to, you can become both a Hellenic and a Egyptian devotee. Ours are not jealous gods. They just want you to use the correct orthopraxy with them.

  9. sydnisan says:

    I don’t know who my patron Goddess is. I have a feeling that it might be Morgan Le Fay, but I’m not sure. I’ve always felt drawn to her and many aspects in my life are connected with her, but I kind of feel like I’m imagining my connection with her sometimes.

  10. deanna says:

    Im a catholic and i have like being drawn too this religion, im not sure what it is but i love the gods but i will feel terrible for leaving my religion, im barely a teenager but like i said its like im being drawn too this, and i have been searching this stuff all day and it just feels right somehow im cofused, would it be bad for me too leave my religion behind and start again??

  11. Mae says:

    I was raised a Christian, but I felt that much more of a connection to polytheism and I’ve always found interest in Greek Mythology, and have found a fascination with Aphrodite, but I am also very curious about my Swedish roots and have an interest in Norse Mythology, but am still very unsure of how to find my best fit and what patron would be the best for me. I need help.

    • Khaire Mae,
      It sounds like you’ve begun some research in connection to both your interests and heritage. And in my opinion, there’s no reason why you can’t pray to members of both pantheons. You could try honoring gods of both houses and see if you feel more comfortable in one “camp” or another, or if you feel equal affinity for both. There’s also no reason you can’t develop a strong relationship with more than one god, in the same or different pantheons.

      It’s kind of like dating in that you have to just start getting to know the other person, or group of people, before you can feel out whether you’re a good fit for each other. My advice to you is to begin by practicing regular rituals and see what your personal gnosis brings.

  12. kittydarlin says:

    Since I can remember I have always been drawn to Artemis, although I was raised strongly Christian. When I have studied or talked with others, the name Hecate and Selena also get brought up. From what I have gathered some see them as variations…one in the same.

    I am largely into the arts, am strong willed, love animals (cats are drawn to me like I’m made of catnip!) and anything artistic. I also tend to feel more at home in the dark and out in nature. Is there anything I can look into to really figure out to which god or goddess I am being called to? It seems each is wanting attention, lol.

    I do know that my great-great grandmother on down to me (my mother’s side) all had the gift of seeing what was to be or had been, as well as past loved ones. This was hidden to to their strong Christian faith. I seem to also be a strong conduit, and when keeping a friend from falling during a ceremony…had the goddess come down through me in the form of Artemis.

    Sorry for this long rant, just know I am not “normal” and have had others say they see things in me that I have seen since childhood.

    Any guidance would be MOST helpful. Thank you!

    • Khaire Kittydarlin!
      It’s wonderful that you have such strong Sight and are comfortable being a conduit for divinity, what a blessing! It also means that you can see quite a few options ahead of you, no wonder you feel the presence of Hekate.

      There are two things I’d suggest considering. The first is that Hekate might be standing at the crossroads to help you find your way in this. You might pray to Her first for guidance and see if she is more present in your life temporarily or on a more permanent basis. Sometimes the theoi need us (and us them) for certain periods of time and not others.

      Next, keep in mind that there is no requirement that you must be devoted to one deity at one time. You are limited only by your resources, time, and energy. It’s just easier (usually) for people to either focus most of their devotions on the theoi or else start with one, and when they have an established relationship, develop a cultus for another in addition. Personally, I am chiefly devoted to Athena, but at one point Asklepios was also very important in my life, and over time I’ve been building stronger relationships with Hestia, Zeus, Hera, Aphrodite, and Hekate.

      If you feel called to serve both Atremis and Hekate (both of which share some aspects with Selena) then perhaps that’s what you are meant to do. You could set aside seperate shrines or else seperate fetishes (anointed, consecrated, and “activated” objects to focus your devotions) on the same shrine to your chief Matrons and honor the either separately or together in joint rituals (as long as you use epithets that are appropriate – such as invoking the wilderness and the night). Just keep in mind that it’s potentially double (or triple) the time and energy and don’t get burned out! Pace yourself and find ways that work for you to establish relationships with Them.

  13. Cas says:

    Hello, I’ve always felt very connected to both Athena and Artemis. I’m very new to this religion and I’m very confused on how to introduce myself as a devotee and how to tell if I’m accepted or not. Also how do you give libations and what should I give as a libation. Sorry for so many questions.

    • Khaire Cas, and welcome!

      These are good questions.

      1. For libation structure and what you should offer, Hellenion offers an in-depth introductory course called Basic Adult Education which is held on this message board and access to the book Old Stones New Temples. But the bare bones formula for a ritual is this:
      – Wash hands and face
      – Light lamp or candle,
      – Recite a Homeric Hymn to Hestia
      -Then drop the match into a bowl of fresh water to make Khernips (sacred water). Sprinkle the khernips over your shrine/altar, offerings, sacred god images, and the sacred space around you. Set the bowl aside off the shrine/altar as it’s no longer clean.
      – Light incense
      – Recite Hymn(s) to god/dess(es) you are honoring (do this out loud, with your whole heart, and absolute attention) and make a libation (sponde or choe depending on if the deity resides above ground or below it – these terms are defined in this blog’s Glossery).
      – Pour the libation (usually this is wine mixed with water, but olive oil [especially for Athena], milk, and honey also serve)
      – You may also offer traditional barley or a portion of your favorite foods or foods that the deity enjoys (olives for Athena and perhaps berries for Artemis, chocolate, cakes or other treats)
      – Announce who you are, standing proud, with palms up. Address the goddess(es) with the appropriate epithets for the purpose of your ritual (you can find these at Make personal supplications and thanksgivings.
      – Thank the gods and extinguish the lamp or candle.

      An example of one of my older rituals can be found here. Though I may post an updated version of how I perform devotions soon.

      2. To introduce yourself as a devotee, you would change this basic structure by addressing the goddess with all of Her epithets, give a very meaningful gift that represents a significant sacrifice for you* (and based on your research of what this goddess enjoys)**, and then in the supplication part of the ritual you would offer yourself as a devotee and ask to be accepted. Hopefully you’ll have a strong feeling or sense acceptance, but you can also ask for a sign to appear at a later time or for an answer in your dreams. Some of the theoi are harder to build relationships with than others, and it might take more than one devotional ritual and/or different gifts before you feel accepted or find your prayers are being answered. Keep trying and trust your intuition!

      *When I devoted myself to Athena I had painted Her, took no pictures of it, and burned the painting as a sacrifice.
      **For Artemis, you might give a significant donation to a wildlife charity on Her behalf.

  14. Ellen says:

    Hey, I recently converted to Hellenic Polytheism and my favorite God was always Dionysus, our personalities match and whenever I pray to Him, I feel lots of energy and happiness, but I’m afraid that He won’t accept me, mostly because I can’t make offerings daily. Does that really matter?

    • Khaire Ellen!
      Congratulations on identifying your patron deity! You have a strong sense of personal gnosis and awareness in your connection to the divine!

      I would suggest looking to those feelings when you do pray to Him and note the results of your prayers. If you are getting the feeling that He is listening to you, and if you are getting what you ask for in the relationship, then you must be doing right by Him. It sounds to me like He is already accepting you.

      That said, this is a transactional relationship and you get what you put into it. If you can make devotions more often, or in different ways that don’t require consistent attention, then you’ll get even more out of it. If you’re looking for other ways to show devotion, they could be: Writing poetry or making art devoted to Him, setting up an e-shrine (there are a lot of examples on Tumblr out there), setting aside space in your home for a physical shrine (maintaining a shrine is a constant sacrifice we can make even without daily ritual), having a big party once per year in His name (a bigger but infrequent devotion), etc. If you’re still not sure, you can also pray to Him and ask if He can accept you without consistent offerings and/or what kind of offerings He’ll accept. The answer may come by intuition, in your dreams, or by some other sign.


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s